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Julianne Altenbern's avatar

Healing through living, you got this!! This is the first substack I’ve read of yours and I really loved it 💖 excited to keep reading!!

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Jillian Paige's avatar

A series of headaches - both the literal migraine and “real world problems” variety - left me ridiculously behind on my reading list. I intend to be a much more regular reader (not to mention writer!), and my absolute first step in getting back on track was to catch up on all the Madilyn I missed. Commenting separately might be more algorithm-friendly, but potentially having multiple conversations going could get annoying for you, so I’m just going to drop one “super-comment” here that quickly covers my top takeaway from every post you’ve written while I‘ve been out of commission:

First and foremost, I must tell you, I’m struck (yet again - and over and over again, as I made my way through your posts) by how similar we are on a soul level. Our steps may be different - and I’m a few “miles” (as in, years) ahead of you - but our journeys seem practically the same. And honestly, I’m not sure if that’s actually, factually true - or if you have a gift for communicating a sort of universal relatability. I don’t want to be a Heather, so I’ll try to resist the urge to offer so much commentary it accidentally makes the conversation all about me. But just know that your writing is so personal and so vulnerable, it inspires me instinctively to respond in kind.

Now, on to the specific posts (I just realized, I’ve got a quote to highlight from each - which is another testament to the power of your words):

- Friday and other good days: “Most days, I see divinity everywhere I look.” - BEAUTIFUL. (Also, I’ve come to realize “honesty” and everyday “integration” are essential facets of faith. If we’re not incorporating them, I believe we’re missing the point.)

- What I want to be when I grow up: “The caveat with being ‘able to do anything,’ though, is that you aren’t really specialized in anything.” That’s the dilemma of my degree exactly. (I fell for the freedom implied in the “do anything” part and totally missed the catch-22.) Believe it or not, I’ve given this some thought on my own recently. When children reach a certain age (past that magical, imaginative point where “princess” and “puppy” are no longer viable career options), a more helpful alternative to that titular - yet ultimately meaningless - question might be a combo of “How will you support yourself?” and “What makes you happy?”

- For the hope of it all: HEATHER. “She often interrupted my gabbing to tell a story about herself that sort of, vaguely related, and then wrapped up her comparison with a moralistic one-liner; a lesson to take away or a different prism to think through my problem with.” Going by the ballparks you’ve offered, there’s a chance I’m smack-dab between her and you age-wise, possibly leaning toward your end (not sure why I feel the need to specify that - I guess to clarify I’m not all the way into Heather territory yet), but this sentence CONVICTED me. Literally since I was a kid, I’ve had a tendency to “therapize” and moralize. I’m a natural teacher and problem-solver, and I’ve always told stories about myself as a way of relating - but I don’t want to be a Heather when I grow up.

- A couple more favorites from this one (‘cause I can’t resist): “The chemicals in my brain are not stable or sustainable, but wow what a trip!” - hahaha!, “And don’t get me started on the convenience of this plot device when nearly every tween girl wanted to be a marine biologist one day because, well, dolphins.” - HAHAHA! Ohhh, the relatability!!

Also, I hope life on the precipice is going well!

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